To My Son

Mi niño bello:

Since your birth, I have professed to the universe that you will be an amazing man, I knew that you were destined for greatness: To be a great person who will achieve many great accomplishments, and make great changes in the lives of many people, writing and changing history with your talent and compassion. Your name, Marcelo, aside from being the only name that I could agree on, means Little Warrior, so each time I called your name, I put into faith my desire for you to make history. You are a gift from the Universe to me and to everyone around you.

 I remember taking you to kindergarten on the first day of school. We walked into that classroom and you just stood there, shy at first, glued to the floor, but then the teacher came over and introduced you to the others kids and you went off to play with some legos . I watched you for few minutes to see how you would do and then you came up to me, hold my hand and said "Mommy, you can leave now" and I just laughed and said "OK". I hugged you and said "I love you and that I'll be back soon to get you" and you said "OK, I love you too" and then went back to play. I hated to leave you there but I knew you had to go. I really thought you would be crying like I seen some of the other kids doing, but you didn't. I was the one crying. I thought about you the whole time you were gone, just wondering what you were doing. When I came back to get you, you were so excited and before you got in the car you were telling me all about your day, your new friends, your teacher and snack time and story time. Your eyes were so bright and you were just filled with so much information, I swear you didn't stop talking until we got back into the house. 

When I look at you now, tall and strong, I don’t just see an eighteen-year-old man, I see you in all of your life’s stages at once.  I see you as a newborn in my arms, you looked up at me intently and I saw a wise little soul in your eyes. I remember walking hand in hand with you on the beach when you were just a toddler and how you'd run on ahead when you spotted some treasure from the sea, bringing it to me in those chubby hands with a look of joy and wonder on your face. I remember a blur of blonde hair racing down the stairs in Barney's pajamas on your third Christmas morning, the khaki pants and pressed blue shirt of a first grader not sure why he has to go to school since he knew EVERYTHING already…, the tender realization in your five-year-old green eyes that taking a book from the library without asking was wrong....Only yesterday you were sitting in front of the television, glued to the images of Discovery Channel.  As Luke Skywalker, you sped to the edges of the galaxy in your spaceship, battling against evil with your lightsaber. You went through so many "stages" .Dinosaurs, the universe, geology, insects, biology, history, chemistry, your brain never stops working, you always had questions, and you still do.

From the time you were a little boy, you had a clear sense of the things you enjoyed doing and the things you did well. You have always been precociously verbal, incredibly creative with your writing and cartooning, and of course – an avid reader. We both share the love of reading and it has been a joy for me to watch you, over these years, get utterly lost in the pages of a good book. I remember the summer of 2006 when you humored me and – at my request – read The Old Man in the Sea. Together we discussed the old man’s journey and explored Hemingway’s writing style. I remember being incredulous and thinking: “He gets it, he gets Hemingway.”  

Life’s events threw us some compelling curves. ADD, depression, anxiety, dad issues. Even at the youngest ages you navigated them with great strength and sensitivity. Beyond being your mother, I admire the person you are and the character you possess. I hope, in time and as you gain strength from living in new experiences, you will recognize and fully appreciate these qualities you own. As you graduate and move into your future, (Grandma was right; you never stop worrying about your children, no matter how old they are.) I also want you to know that I will always be here. There will always be a soft place for you to land, a place to call home, if you need it.

I can't believe that soon I will be standing there watching you walk across a stage to be handed your high school diploma. You've worked so hard to get to this point. You began this life as a beautiful baby boy but grew up to be a handsome, responsible, compassionate, hard working young man. My heart hurts to know that you will be leaving soon, but I know this is what you want and that you will be alright. I will be worried about you and I'll miss our daily talks,  my goodnight kisses and morning hugs… I’m glad that we have the mother & son relationship that is very rare and far between, and that you know you can trust me and talk to me about anything.

I'm not the perfect mother, I've made my mistakes and I know those mistakes have hurt you and I'm so sorry .Being your mother wasn’t always easy… But I know one thing that I don't regret is having you when I did, I'm honored to be the one who saw your first step, hear your first words (mama, thank you very much for that!!!), teach you all the important things in life, there's so many things that I've watched you do that was just a surprise to me. In my recent emotional and health roller coaster you took such great care of me, and really proved your love and devotion, and I have never been happier and prouder. I realize that you will make a fantastic doctor.

 I tried your whole life to make you into a decent human being and I 100% believe I succeeded in that. I can’t make you become anything other than that. I can’t turn you into a doctor or scientist. I never thought that was my job. I let you find your own things. So I spent part of your life thinking you’d become a Generic Engineer or a Dr in Nanotechnology. And then I learned that the more interest I took in your interests the more you backed off those interests. So ever since I realized you are obsessed with Psychiatry I have tried not to broach the subject with you in the hopes that you’ll decide what you really like and is best for you.

Whatever it is you end up becoming, I just want you to do the best job you can do and BE HAPPY doing it.

 Really, all I want from you, all I've been trying to teach you your whole life is to 
a) be a good human being and b) always give it your best.

My Life advice for you son...

Always remember the people who love you; no matter what, be there for them, and remember we are always here for you. I am always here for you. I cannot tell you what to do, but I will tell you what I’d do.

And even on what I hope is a distant day that I am gone from this earth, know I will be there inside you, to turn to if you need a guide.

I have loosened my hold, and will continue to as you become a man, but I will never let you go.

Never underestimate the positive potential of those you don’t yet know.

Everyone who has already influenced the direction of your life – even your parents and grandparents – was once a stranger to you.

Somewhere out there may be your wife. A best friend. Someone who hands you a dream job. Someone whose mentorship helps you live an even happier life.

Some of these people may only enter your life briefly, and the departure of some may bring you temporary heartache, but always remember to recognize what you discovered through them, and be grateful.

Somewhere out there are always more people who can help you positively transform your life. Stay open to meeting them.

It is your life; do not allow the sinister lure of anything, and do not allow anyone else’s choices, to live it for you.

You are not merely graduating from high school. You are graduating into adulthood. What that means is that you are responsible for your choices.

You are the choices that you make.

Choose positive intense experiences that nurture you. Choose to recognize failings for what they are: necessary building blocks to success. Choose honesty, including unyielding self-honesty, and self-discipline. Choose love, which always starts and ends with self-love.

Choose wisely, son.

Marcelo, I love you. You are the son that every mother dreams of having. I could not be more thankful for you and proud of the man you have become.  Your character and integrity are important to you.  You are finding your voice and moving forward in positions of leadership. I rely on you to use that leadership to model the qualities of a good, honest and loving man.  You have been blessed with charisma and people will have to look up to you during your lifetime, the important thing is to make them want to.

Do you remember when you started first grade I gave you a book by Dr Seuss and highlighted a quote in the beginning ?

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go.."

Keep that with you and never forget to be YOU (and that I will always be there for you).

Mommy

My wish for you

May you find serenity and tranquility in a world you may not always understand.

May the pain you have known and the conflict you have experienced give you the strength to walk through life facing each new situation with courage and optimism.

Always know that there are those whose love and understanding will always be there, even when you feel most alone. 

May you discover enough goodness in others to believe in a world of peace.

May a kind word, a reassuring touch, a warm smile be yours every day of your life, and may you give these gifts as well as receive them. 

Remember the sunshine when the storm seems unending. 

Teach love to those who know hate, and let that love embrace you as you go into the world.

May the teaching of those you admire become part of you, so that you may call upon them. 

Remember, those whose lives you have touched and who have touched yours are always a part of you, even if the encounters were less than you would have wished. It is the content of the encounter that is more important than its' form. 

May you not become too concerned with material matters, but instead place immeasurable value on the goodness in your heart.

Find time in each day to see the beauty and love in the world around you.

Realize that each person has limitless abilities, but each of us is different in our own way. 

What you may feel you lack in one regard may be more than compensated for in another. 

What you feel you lack in the present may become one of your strengths in the future. May you see your future as one filled with promise and possibility. 

Learn to view everything as a worthwhile experience. 

May you find enough inner strength to determine your own worth by yourself,and not be dependent on another's judgments of your accomplishments. 

May you always feel loved.

LIFE ..as I know it.

I've learned...

That being kind is more important than being right.
That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.
That money doesn't buy class...or happiness

That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
That every problem you have is your responsibility, regardless of who caused it.
That you never have to deal with more than one moment at a time.
That If you never doubt your beliefs, then you’re wrong a lot.
That managing one’s ego is the most powerful skill a person can learn.
That Nobody has it all figured out.
That every passing face on the street represents a story every bit as compelling and complicated as yours.
That humans cannot destroy the planet, but we can destroy its capacity to keep us alive. And we are.
That a person who is unafraid to present a candid version of herself to the world is as rare as diamonds.
That everyone you meet is better than you at something.
That knowledge is belief, nothing more.
That everyone thinks they’re an above average driver.
That the secret ingredient is usually butter, in obscene amounts.
That there is no point finishing a book you aren’t enjoying. Life is too short for that. Swallow your pride and put it down for good, unfinished.
That the fewer possessions you have, the more they do for you.
That the ability to be happy is nothing other than the ability to come to terms with
That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people wiser and kinder than I am.
That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
That I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.
I've learned...that when your baby holds your finger in his little fist, you're hooked for life.
That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it..
That everything in life is an opportunity for growth.
That we are not here for our own amusement, but to impact others.
And the most important thing I've learned....No one knows what they’re doing as parents!!! We’re all faking it, and hoping we’re getting it right. Some people obsess about the details, and miss out on the fun. I just try not to mess them up too much, to show them they’re loved, to enjoy the moments I can with them, to show them life is fun, and stay out of the way of them becoming the amazing people they’re going to become. That they already are.
Love comes in many flavors. I love my children, completely and more than I can ever fully understand. I love them each in a different way, and know that each is perfect in his or her own way.
Life is exceedingly brief. You might feel like there’s a huge mass of time ahead of you, but it passes much faster than you think. Your kids grow up so fast you get whiplash. You get gray hairs before you’re done getting your bearings on life. Appreciate every damn moment!!! I have a lot left to learn. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that I know almost nothing, and that I’m often wrong about what I think I know. Life has many lessons left to teach me, and I’m looking forward to them all!!!

The "LAUNDRY" Issue

So, I hate doing laundry. Hate. It. With a passion. There are many reasons I hate doing laundry, which include the carrying, the sorting, the folding and the putting away. Wait, isn't that everything that is involved in doing laundry? Oh yeah, that's right. I hate it all.I am not proud to admit this, but i kind of let the pile grow a little too long. Or rather, a little too high.So I think to myse

lf, wouldn't it be easier to carry if I put it in the upright basket? Oh, God. I think it just multiplied. Or tripled. Is that seriously all our laundry? Kill me now.You might think that would be the worst of it. But you would think wrong. The washer and dryer? They're in the basement. How do you get to the basement?Three set of stairs later... augghhh shoot me!! :(

Seriously...have some class!!

“Class never runs scared. It is sure-footed and confident, and it can handle whatever comes along. Class has a sense of humor. It knows that a good laugh is the best lubricant for oiling the machinery of human relations. Class never makes excuses. It takes its lumps and learns from mistakes. Class knows that good manners are nothing more than a series of small sacrifices and minor inconveniences.

Class bespeaks an aristocracy unrelated to ancestors or money. Some extremely wealthy people have no class at all, while others who are struggling to make ends meet are loaded with it. Class is real. You can't fake it. Class is comfortable in its own skin. It never puts on airs. Class never tries to build itself up by tearing others down. Class is already up and need not attempt to look better by making others look worse. Class can walk with kings and keep its virtue and talk with crowds and keep the common touch. Everyone is comfortable with the person who has class because he is comfortable with himself. If you have class, you've got it made. If you don't have class, no matter what else you have, it won't make up for it."

Dear Jesse

I don’t say this often, but I’d like to take the opportunity to remind you that you are such a magnificent creature!
Your eyes are as green as the buds on the twigs of the tree of life!
Your lips speak kindness to all like a bird in the spring. 

Your laughter fills up the room like a bubbling brook, and your hair shines like the wings of a dove, flying by.
Your spirit illuminates your soul, and your warmth radiates within you and keeps you warm in the midst of Fall and it's cool colored leaves.
Your wisdom is rare and worthy. Your family is blessed and you deserve the best. If there is anyone who could ever love you like me is you.
You are strong but vulnerable,courageous and kind.
Loved and appreciated, determined and downright stubborn at times! Loveable, adorable and every able way there is in the world.
Dazzling with beauty inside and out, connected to everything that IS. Dynamic, diligent and decisive, fearless and free...funny, clumsy and sometimes silly! Crazy about life, love and creation.
Sexy, sassy and full of soul and the world would be a much better place if there were more you’s.

Love

Me xxx


Thank you to my wonderful teacher Stacy Anuttara Newfeld for teaching me how important is to remind myself WHO I REALLY AM, and to thank myself once on a while. I didn’t write this from an egotistical viewpoint but from a compassionate, loving and caring space where my soul knows that you and I are all of these things. I hope you take it as a reminder of who you are and connect with the true intention of it!